Saying Goodbye

Over the past couple weeks, I've had a lot of time to think. And I hit on something.
Yes I have mental illness and yes I want to be an advocate, but the way I've been going about it is distinctly not me. Instead of marking myself feel better about it, in the way I went about it I was letting my illness define me. And there is so much more to me then that. So while I won't avoid it in conversation, I'm going to move on and follow my true passions because that is where I can make an impact. 

So for this reason, this is goodbye. I will leave my blog up for now and I hope it can help you. Go out there and be great! 

Thank you.

Tea Time Rambles

This weeks Instagram post

This week's ramble

This week I have been continuing a very difficult med change. I don't want to do anything, I'm very emotional and very hard to work with. This is not a-typical for the meds that are being changed. It is still very hard. Normal things are so different, even if not bad, and then I get confused and distressed and it all goes down from there. But I'm trying not to let it overcome me. I get dressed every day. Yesterday I put on makeup for the first time sense the med change. I try to get out of the house as much as possible even though I just want to crawl into me bed and hide.

Doing hard things is uncomfortable! No one says it is easy. But there is no magic pill or treatment. You have to make an effort, which is excruciating sometimes. But if you do it, it will be very hard, but very rewarding. Don't let your mental illness own you. Go out and kick some butt!

This weeks look

This weeks adventures

Working at KungFuTea with my cute Fern baby desktop

Went to the Peace Bogota
It was very beautiful and relaxing

 Went to a bonsai festival and brought home a new friend! There is a blog post on this.

My Friend!

Lesson of the week

Don't give up

Visiting New England Bonsai Garden

Hi everyone!
This last weekend mum and I went to New England Bonsai Garden where they where having a fair! It was absolutely beautiful! If you don't know what Bonsai are, here is googles description:

1. "an ornamental tree or shrub grown in a pot and artificially prevented from reaching its normal size.

   • the art of growing ornamental, artificially dwarfed trees or shrubs."

So basically little trees. But they are so beautiful and you can do so much with them! They are often sculpted to make beautiful art.

Here are some of the many trees I saw!

So many trees!

Beautiful statues

So I got this beauty

She is a Jade plant. Jade is said to bring good luck. I think she is so pretty and lovely!

This is what I got:
A Jade plant
A watering can

Fertilizer specially for bonsai
A beginner book on taking care of bonsai.

So this is her new home! I hope she will like all the sun shine and bunnies.
Thank you New England Bonsai Gardens!
Now let's try to keep her alive!

Tea Time Ramble: Getting through hard things

This weeks Instagram post
There where none. I's sorry.

This week's ramble

It's been a difficult week, for many reasons.

One of those reasons is that I have to change my meds. The meds where working fine, but I was getting very harmful side affects and chemical imbalances. So we are going to try changing to another medication to see if I will respond to that just as well with the side affects. 

The cross taper of the meds has been very hard on me both mentally and physically. I find myself not being able to deal with everyday situations and melting down at simple tasks. You may also notice I used a lot more filters this week. I feel (wether this is truly physical or just my unbalanced perception) that this med change is taking a toll on me physically as well, appearance being one thing affected. I am not happy with my reflection and then mentally it sends me for a tail spin. So I hide behind filters for now, till I feel a little better.

Its been quite the struggle, so please bare with me as I live through this. I won't be posting as much on Instagram (though I hope to post more and mostly on my artstagram) and my regular stories will be different. 

Thank you for understanding as I survive through this difficult time.

This weeks look

This weeks outfits

This weeks adventures

Yay! A new way of exercising!
Exercise is grate for distressing!

Went apple picking with mum! It was so much fun!

Discovered this adorable Ice Cream shop witch is still open! It was yummy!

Lesson of the week

Be easy on yourself when you are having a hard time. It's easy to think powering though it is the only way to get through things but be kind to yourself and give yourself allowances. If you only partly heal, the problem is likely to come back and haunt you. Do what you can to heal as fully as possible. You will thank yourself later.

Girl's Shopping Day with a Good Friend!

I am a very nervous person.
Thus, when I unexpectedly got back in contact with a good friend I hadn't seen for over a year, I was both supper happy but a little nervous.
It's hard because I was so so happy to get back in contact with her, but in my head their was that little voice saying "What if you mess it all up?"
We planed to get together at the mall on a Sunday and I was still wondering "What if I mess it all up?" but now with "Why can't you just enjoy yourself, you always do with her!"

And then we met in the food court

And all the doubt was gone.

It was amazing. We had such a good time!

And so, today's message is to not always listen to the doubt. Let go, stay positive.

Now on to the fun part!

Pictures!

What I Got and Reviews

So this is everything I got. It is all from Forever21 with the exception of the lip gloss, which was from NYX cosmetics.


Eyelashes

I got 2 sets of these eyelashes as I was running low on eyelashes and I had my eyes on these for a little while. I tried them out and wow, they are so nice! They give a nice amount of flare to your face but are super light and very comfortable. Wearing them for a day, I hardly felt them at all. Very happy with this!

Oil Free Lip and Eye Remover
makeup remover

I really like this makeup remover! First of all, the packaging is so cute! The makeup remover is so easy to use, it doesn't take scrubbing to remove your makeup. (Shown below). I really like this product!

Cute Pink Bow

This cute pink bow was so pretty, I could't stop myself from buying us matching ones as we both love hair bows! It's so pretty on!

Hair Ties

These hair ties are so pretty and comfortable! I originally got them because I heard they where good for wigs and extinctions. I sometimes wear wigs and my friend wears extinctions sometimes (They where sold in a 3 pack and I gave her one to try out). However, they are also said to be good for not damaging your hair. Now, I am one to not put my hair up because it is uncomfortable for me. Recently though I will trough my hair up with one of these and it feels grate! They are also supper cute pink and purple with glitter. Love it!

NYX Cosmic Metals Lip Gloss

My friend bought me this lippy! Isn't it cute? It's more of a nude shade then I would pick out for myself, but It looks really cute! I was very happy with the color, and it has glitter! I love this!

It was so much fun! I hope you enjoyed and the reviews might be helpful! Thank you for spending the day with me Sonia, hope to get together again soon!